Saturday, January 14, 2006
slumber shower
When all people are daintily stepping on waxed polished marble floors of ground shopping malls,here i am figuring out how to sweep it away.
I lean back,full of contentment,and am idly looking around every corner of my boxy room when an oddly familiar figure interrupts.I peer harder,as though the figure is there,and my skin starts to prickle in horror.I must be hallucinating,but the figure looked exactly like-
My cellphone beeped and my attention snaps back on set.I'm in a mess...and I..I dont know what to do and gave a shaky sigh.All the things i desperately not to think back are being thrust back in my mind. Desperately i thrust them back out again.
For an instant I feel like crying.Why ask me?But I can't crumble,I have to do this.I have to be strong.Bloody hell.Summoning all my strength,I allow myself to cry sympathetically.I swallow hard,trying to keep my voice sound steady.And suddenly they're all gone.And I'm left alone on the side table,exposed and vulnerable.All that is left is me,shrinking and frantically trying to avoid her eye.
My whole terrible,disorganized life.It's all there,isn't it?Waiting for me.like a great big spider.Just waiting to pounce on me as soon as this advice-thing goes off.Everything that i have been burrying are now worming their way out to life back again.I cant wriggle anymore.Suddenly I feel almost too guilty,I want to be good.I want to get my life in shape.But fucking how?
marfi @ 1:28 AM