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Kimmikos Emily Lin Syuhaidah Josephine Farheen Fazleena Claudya Feefaa Raimi Raidah Hazeeq


August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
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designer
blogger

This blog is rarely updated because it depends on my mood and inspiration. If you have a problem with that, I suggest you leave and stop complaining, bitch. Do not pretend you know me like the back of your hand from reading this online sanctuary of mine because this is not even half of me yet.

Christmas? well yeah,it is really christmas.

When i think about Christmas,i think of how the world has changed and how fast time past.Just like a click.When i think of christmas,i put my other mind and imagine myself in the next room where people celebrate.The drinks,the turkey,the ham,presents and all.Just the dinner,makes me wanna be there.Its enchanting to see how people communicate.And to see the downlights land gently and calmingly,it adds to the atmosphere though there's no snow clumping the roads.

If i were to celebrate christmas,a doll house present would be terrific.That would enough be to make me glee.

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket,never let it fade away.Goodnight
marfi @ 8:36 AM


As it turns out,you can function while your heart is being torn to shreds.Blood pumps,breath flows,neurons fire.What goes missing is the effect; a curious flatness to voice and actions that,if noted,speak of a whole so deep inside there's no visible end to it.I stared at the woman who yesterday was my mother and sees a stranger in her place.I listened to her unpleasant comments and wonders when she took up this foreign language,this toungue that makes no sense.

I can't help it with the conflicts.

Of course,it is what any parent would want to do to the devil who taught a child.But 99.9 percent of those parents dont act on it.

I feel fire pooling like an acid in the muscles of my shoulders.I'm furious and stunned and maybe a little bit awed.I have traveled every inch of this woman,I understand what makes her cry and what brings her to rapture;i recognizes every cut of her body;but i dont know her at all.

I may have been accused,but I was never convicted.Ironically, someone have turned me into a victim.

A mortal sin.
marfi @ 9:04 AM




For the next couple of weeks,nothing can pierce my happy glow.I pretend nonchalant.Within this glow,sand is fading it away.Its torturingly hellish,but still i pretend nothing happened.The chagrin which is causing to inure the eye-is the 'it' i don't want to see.I imagined faithfully everyone would be given the step to the next level.It wasnt easy,you need nauseting months of focus and pressure voluptuary.

Exactly around 2 plus on Monday,nothing i imagined seemed to come true.A lie instead.I made it.But my best friend didnt.Not only her,some others lives in the same situation.I didnt questioned.Seeing the lackadaisical emotion,i already achieved the answer.In the laconic language of the result slip,there was "no visble sign of life".

"I told Ayu that I'm on a bad luck streak.Because things are not working out for me."Gg says.I told gg that ITE is not the end of life.People may think ITE stands for Its The End. And i believe such strong being liek her will dissiminated around her what seemed and aura of beneficiance and goodwill.Although there's no each presence,our heart make the significance.

The picture above is one of the leftovers.
marfi @ 7:51 AM


how far can a psycho go.tell me?they're up to nowhere if they are thinking of running after me.eeee.seriously,i have nothing to lose if i dont have you as my friend nor a boyfriend,i couldnt care less.You press and hesitate more,do i even bother?Fuck.You see people,psychos live in their own world and they insist greatly for us to be there with them as a long-good-forever companion.Yea,i'll be nice during the start,but if i feel your weight is pulling me down to much.then i must say be ready to get axed torturlly.
marfi @ 9:22 PM


There is a natural progression or,more accurately,regression in any relationship.You felt a huge crush sinking deep into you mind,soul and maybe heart.You felt it to someone and everything about them is wonderful,miraculous,enchanting.You love the way he is with his family,the way he listens to you.The way she tilts her head is so graceful,and you love her mischievousness.You are endlessly fascinated and enthralled with her every movement,every touch.And you express the thrill of it all.You tell your new love how sensitive and special he is.You tell your parents or friends that she is the most warm and giving woman you've ever met.

You know how nauseatingly people go on when they're first in love.Family and friends put up with it because they know it will pass.And sure enough it does.And then something happens,or an imperfection peeks through.She's always late,or he watches too much television.In a way,even this stage feels good at first- as if having a problem to work out is a signal that this is a relationship to take seriously.When your friends ask you how things are going you can say,"Great,but we have a few issues we need to work on."

Everything is as it should be,except for this "one thing".This is where we decide that what it's going to take to make everything perfect again is work.This is also where appreciation begins to take a backseat to our efforts to make everything fit our ideas of how we think it should be.And more often than not,this is the beginning of the end of a great relationship.

You dont have to do anything about the good things because "if it ain't broke,dont fix it,"right?So you devote lots of attention to this problem-thing.You discuss it with each other,you read books about it,and you seek advice from friends.Meanwhile,less and less of your attention goes to those great qualities you fell head-over-heels in love with,the reasons you got seriously together in the first place.There seems to be an unspoken agreement that you dont need to pay attention to "how genorous she is" or "how sensitive he is."Those qualities are fine; they dont need any correction or improvement.

Eventually,we are only paying attention to the problems.And since problems get the focus,problems are all we see and experience.The nonproblematic things we used to dote on,the things that enamored us,fade far into the background from lack of attention.

This is how we take a fulfilling,nurturing,exciting relationship and kill it.Almost everyone does it,too.Proof of point; How many lively and passionate longtime relationship do you know of?
marfi @ 5:23 AM