Friday, January 06, 2006
Between the time of my first memory . . . and my second and third memories, I remember nothing. The lacunae of these years I've been able to fill sketchily from the entries in my baby book, which notes such incidents as my first smile.
What is it that you're paucity of?
I sensed that its time to step back,take stock,and try to entangle and think through a series of events,a great many which i have undergone with impassioned abandon and having you blindfolded;you dont see,because you never think.Your stupid and ugly enthusiasm made you display a factitious self.When you have made up your little mind,all the kings horses and all the kingsmen could not change that little pertinacious mind.It makes well-known witnesses pounder if you're faced with a Hobson's choice:Make the plunge ...or face a terrifying alternative-gradual extinction.Quickly boost to the brain mirror,and plunge yourself into the make-beings-feel enmasse pool.Without any significant fourthought,you can slip through anyone speechlessly and keep them burning for justice.
I'm feeling the tug growing stronger and stronger.You're so close that I can see you crying,and this isnt very clear because I'm flickering out all the nonchalance,which seems to be a pool of dripping tears.I feel the hook coming free,drawing out the silence that has swelled in my belly for 2 weeks now,and the moment I reach your embrace it burst from my lips in a frosty rusty trebled joy.'...........................................................!'I was shouting so loud that it drowns out everything but the drum of your heart beneath your ear.I heft you in my arms,smiling like a fool.I bury my face in your sweet neck,matching my memory with what is real.
Of course if all I pened down could be transform to reality,I mean it might but the overpowering satan is too intruding.Overcomed my anger and desperate vengeance,I ignite a soundless battle that may cause my focus to slip through.
Our virtues are most frequently but vices disguised.
marfi @ 12:31 AM