Saturday, December 24, 2005
As it turns out,you can function while your heart is being torn to shreds.Blood pumps,breath flows,neurons fire.What goes missing is the effect; a curious flatness to voice and actions that,if noted,speak of a whole so deep inside there's no visible end to it.I stared at the woman who yesterday was my mother and sees a stranger in her place.I listened to her unpleasant comments and wonders when she took up this foreign language,this toungue that makes no sense.
I can't help it with the conflicts.
Of course,it is what any parent would want to do to the devil who taught a child.But 99.9 percent of those parents dont act on it.
I feel fire pooling like an acid in the muscles of my shoulders.I'm furious and stunned and maybe a little bit awed.I have traveled every inch of this woman,I understand what makes her cry and what brings her to rapture;i recognizes every cut of her body;but i dont know her at all.
I may have been accused,but I was never convicted.Ironically, someone have turned me into a victim.
A mortal sin.
marfi @ 9:04 AM